It really does work for me. I'm on a low dose and it's been much, much easier to deal with life in general. Laundry is not so daunting. I don't feel like choking people at work or at home anymore. And trust me, that was at least an every other day thought for a while. Coping with life is much easier. And I feel like I can smile again. I never realized how bad it was until my friend who took another job at my company came back to visit me and have lunch and I could barely muster up the excitement to see her again. I was broken. Very, very broken.
Now? Much better. Bonus side effect: Appetite suppressant. I guess it could be taken as nausea, but I just find myself not needing to eat so much to feel normal or happy or whatever. So, I continue to lose weight. I have lost 14 pounds since September and approx. 20 lbs since last year at this time. I weighed in at 210 this morning and I had topped out around 231 right after the holidays in 2010. And since I have the weight to lose, I don't mind. I'm kind of hoping that I can get back to where I was in college, which was 175. Seems far away that I could get there, but I've lost 15 in the past 6 months, so who's to say I can't keep going?
So, I am happy with both items. I feel normal again and I'm losing the last of the Ryan weight.
On the baby front, that has been a chore at best. Gravida: 3; Para: 1 I'm aiming for Gravida: 4; Para: 2 (heck, let's be bold and aim for Gravida: 4; Para: 3! Haha!). Frankly, in my book of life, one more miscarriage and I will term it RPL and call Ryan a fluke. So, wish us luck in March. I could handle a Thanksgiving baby.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Reconsideration
So, what was a bad cold for Ryan turned into a second ear infection. His second in three months. He didn't have any for the first 18 months. Which is sort of strange, in its own way. But, it was just a bad cold and when I picked him up from daycare on Wednesday, his left eye was reddish, under the lid. Turns out, this is a sign of an ear infection. As in, the left ear is infected and the infection spread to his eye. Yuck!
So, we are on the good antibiotics now, since he's allergic to the cheap stuff. $30.00 for the 10 day dosage. Without insurance, this would cost $99.99. Woof! One dose and he's already doing WAY better. But, since the eye was included with the infection, he has to be on the drugs for 24 hours before he can go back to daycare. So, I have been home for two days with him, because I can get paid and if Jake doesn't work, he don't get paid.
Being home for the past two days has been fairly easy and made me realize that if I could stay home with him, or if I had to, for whatever reason, I could do it. I don't know if it's the Zoloft finally working it's magic, because I have said many, many times that I could NEVER stay home with him, because I would be so bored. But, with some rest and some deep thoughts, I know that I wouldn't have a problem with it. I could plan trips and projects and take "Mommy and Me" classes and I could, in theory, enroll him in programs that would get him out of the house and into someone else's hands for at least a couple of hours. And I just feel like the house would be better, cleaner and I would be saner. And I could always find something, at some point, that I could do part time. Or, I could go back to school, like I have been wanting to for a while.
So, maybe one of my new goals in the next couple of years is to get to a point where I can stay at home. Of course, by the time that that happens, he will be in school and it won't matter. But, I would like to be in a position to be home for him after school and to take him to school.
I guess it would take careful planning and all that before such a decision. And right now, it's just not feasible. But, maybe....just maybe. I have dreams! :)
So, we are on the good antibiotics now, since he's allergic to the cheap stuff. $30.00 for the 10 day dosage. Without insurance, this would cost $99.99. Woof! One dose and he's already doing WAY better. But, since the eye was included with the infection, he has to be on the drugs for 24 hours before he can go back to daycare. So, I have been home for two days with him, because I can get paid and if Jake doesn't work, he don't get paid.
Being home for the past two days has been fairly easy and made me realize that if I could stay home with him, or if I had to, for whatever reason, I could do it. I don't know if it's the Zoloft finally working it's magic, because I have said many, many times that I could NEVER stay home with him, because I would be so bored. But, with some rest and some deep thoughts, I know that I wouldn't have a problem with it. I could plan trips and projects and take "Mommy and Me" classes and I could, in theory, enroll him in programs that would get him out of the house and into someone else's hands for at least a couple of hours. And I just feel like the house would be better, cleaner and I would be saner. And I could always find something, at some point, that I could do part time. Or, I could go back to school, like I have been wanting to for a while.
So, maybe one of my new goals in the next couple of years is to get to a point where I can stay at home. Of course, by the time that that happens, he will be in school and it won't matter. But, I would like to be in a position to be home for him after school and to take him to school.
I guess it would take careful planning and all that before such a decision. And right now, it's just not feasible. But, maybe....just maybe. I have dreams! :)
Monday, February 07, 2011
Two weeks
It seems silly to say, but after two weeks of Zoloft, I can already tell the difference. Or maybe, in a way, knowing is the half the battle too.
But, I am far more relaxed than I was, even a week ago, even when I am losing sleep to Ryan illness. The tense, crazy episodes are much less. I'm not getting as upset as I was, which is awesome to me. And, I actually want to do things, instead of nothing. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing nothing is nice sometimes, but not when you have a bunch of laundry and things to do in the house and you have the energy to do: nothing.
The plague of illness continues at our house. I don't think there has been a time since Thanksgiving when someone hasn't had one thing or another. I was sick, then Ryan and Jake were sick, then I was sick again, then Ryan was sick again. And rinse and repeat. Ryan came down with a pretty good cold yesterday -- slight fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. I feel terrible for him. He went into his bed 15 mins early tonight and he didn't complain too much. I have a feeling I might be up and down tonight however, but that's ok. I will survive.
Yeah Packers! I'm still in that state of "I can't believe they won!". I don't know if it will ever go away. Sometimes, I still have strange reactions to things, so maybe this is just one of those things.
Not too much going on around here otherwise. Very even and quiet lately, which is very nice.
I am totally in love with the new style Fuzzi Bunz! I just bought 7 online and with 15% off, I basically got one for free, which is pretty sweet, if you ask me. I got a free one a couple of weeks back with a laundry detergent order and I tried it -- and it's awesome! The legs adjust and the waist is very adjustable and they are snaps, so they stay on Ryan's skinny butt overnight. I can't wait for my fluffy mail! :) Cloth diapers are the best thing ever, let me tell you. I know that it seems weird, but it is just so very, very easy. Well, it's as easy as you make it, you know?
I really need to sit down and evaluate all of my crafting projects. I have like 20 things in process, but most of them, I don't know what I am going to do with them when I am done. The next on my 'to-do' list are: Finishing Jameson's Christmas stocking, starting and finishing one for Will and starting one for my next child, if I have one this year before Christmas. I've really only got like two more tries this year and then we are into next year. Which is fine. Because then, it's a whole other year before I need to finish. And I can bump something else up in the list. But, I have just had so many ideas and plans and things that I really want to do, that it's hard to finish. Plus, with the boy, it's hard to sit and do anything -- when I have free time, I just want to relax.
Oh well. Such is life, right?
But, I am far more relaxed than I was, even a week ago, even when I am losing sleep to Ryan illness. The tense, crazy episodes are much less. I'm not getting as upset as I was, which is awesome to me. And, I actually want to do things, instead of nothing. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing nothing is nice sometimes, but not when you have a bunch of laundry and things to do in the house and you have the energy to do: nothing.
The plague of illness continues at our house. I don't think there has been a time since Thanksgiving when someone hasn't had one thing or another. I was sick, then Ryan and Jake were sick, then I was sick again, then Ryan was sick again. And rinse and repeat. Ryan came down with a pretty good cold yesterday -- slight fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. I feel terrible for him. He went into his bed 15 mins early tonight and he didn't complain too much. I have a feeling I might be up and down tonight however, but that's ok. I will survive.
Yeah Packers! I'm still in that state of "I can't believe they won!". I don't know if it will ever go away. Sometimes, I still have strange reactions to things, so maybe this is just one of those things.
Not too much going on around here otherwise. Very even and quiet lately, which is very nice.
I am totally in love with the new style Fuzzi Bunz! I just bought 7 online and with 15% off, I basically got one for free, which is pretty sweet, if you ask me. I got a free one a couple of weeks back with a laundry detergent order and I tried it -- and it's awesome! The legs adjust and the waist is very adjustable and they are snaps, so they stay on Ryan's skinny butt overnight. I can't wait for my fluffy mail! :) Cloth diapers are the best thing ever, let me tell you. I know that it seems weird, but it is just so very, very easy. Well, it's as easy as you make it, you know?
I really need to sit down and evaluate all of my crafting projects. I have like 20 things in process, but most of them, I don't know what I am going to do with them when I am done. The next on my 'to-do' list are: Finishing Jameson's Christmas stocking, starting and finishing one for Will and starting one for my next child, if I have one this year before Christmas. I've really only got like two more tries this year and then we are into next year. Which is fine. Because then, it's a whole other year before I need to finish. And I can bump something else up in the list. But, I have just had so many ideas and plans and things that I really want to do, that it's hard to finish. Plus, with the boy, it's hard to sit and do anything -- when I have free time, I just want to relax.
Oh well. Such is life, right?
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
DOOM!!!! (alternate title: Snow Day)
Snow day around these parts. I worked for about 3 hours this morning. Jake shoveled us out (see Facebook pics) and then took Ryan to daycare. She was open today, but he was the only one there. would rather not burn one of my 10 sick days on the SECOND day of their calendar year (which runs Feb 1 - Jan 31, to include all the holidays in one year). So, Ryan is at daycare with our lady and her two kids. They all love him, so I'm sure he's having a wonderful time.
We are being bums. It's sort of nice. I have some laundry to do and such things around the house, but we never get to sit around during the day Ryan free.
I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as the weathermen were saying this morning, until I saw a neighbor trying to get out of his driveway. I have never seen anyone plow their driveway with their RAV-4 (or whatever kind of SUV he had) until today, but it was pretty sweet. I guess the poor guy seized up his snowblower, because he forgot to put oil in! Duh! So, our neighbor with the huge snowblower went over and saved him.
I knew that my Toyota was doomed when I saw him driving in the road.
We'll survive.
Ryan must be on a growth spurt again, because he has been eating like a pig. Well, maybe more like a duck. Pigs chew their food. Dinner the other night was a hot dog, half a cup of broccoli, some mashed potatoes and an entire banana. Breakfast this morning was three pieces of string cheese and a banana and a half. Ridiculous. I'm sort of wondering what the food bills will be like when he is a teenager. Frightening.
We are being bums. It's sort of nice. I have some laundry to do and such things around the house, but we never get to sit around during the day Ryan free.
I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as the weathermen were saying this morning, until I saw a neighbor trying to get out of his driveway. I have never seen anyone plow their driveway with their RAV-4 (or whatever kind of SUV he had) until today, but it was pretty sweet. I guess the poor guy seized up his snowblower, because he forgot to put oil in! Duh! So, our neighbor with the huge snowblower went over and saved him.
I knew that my Toyota was doomed when I saw him driving in the road.
We'll survive.
Ryan must be on a growth spurt again, because he has been eating like a pig. Well, maybe more like a duck. Pigs chew their food. Dinner the other night was a hot dog, half a cup of broccoli, some mashed potatoes and an entire banana. Breakfast this morning was three pieces of string cheese and a banana and a half. Ridiculous. I'm sort of wondering what the food bills will be like when he is a teenager. Frightening.
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