I am on Pintrest, which I have talked about and luuuuurve, but I found this blog yesterday called "I Heart Organzing" -- it's a woman who lives in Baldwin who is a whiz at organizing. Makes me want to re-org the whole house -- and don't get me wrong, it could totally use it! :)
So, right now, I am just reading through her blog and getting ideas for now.
Also, I FINALLY started my baby sewing projects. I am thinking of taking off early on my birthday (next Wed) and coming home and just sewing. I'll post pics somewhere when I am done with them. I have to decide if I really want to or not, because I'm really low on sick time at work and I don't want to use three hours or so if I don't have to, but I don't really want to make up the time either. Too bad we don't get our birthday off at work! LOL
Of course, the reason I started them finally was because Ryan was sick on Sunday and slept for about 3 hours. Lots of free time for Mom and Dad -- Jake put in a window and I sewed. I also cleaned up Lily's room a bit. I really should blog that on the other blog, but either way, it's in writing.
The house is really starting to come together, frankly. We have new windows in the back room and a new one in the bathroom and the one at the top of the stairs. So, 6 to go and they are all at the front of house. Next year for that project. We were told we could get some decorative piano windows for the living room, so we still have to figure that out too -- I think we can probably custom order some from Home Depot. I think that I found some that I like from Andersen, we just have to make sure we can get what we want for a decent price. That will be a Christmas present from Jake's parents for us.
So, I'm starting to think about re-doing Ryan's room. Figure out something for him -- he still has the painting I did close to three years ago now. He could use something more fun, rather than his baby room. Of course, I could just wait, because I think that we are going to have them share the upstairs in the next year or so -- we have to re-do the drywall and fix some things up there first -- and then I want to plan out the room very good so they each have their own space, but they can share play space too. Lots of planning ahead!
Then, I can just paint the downstairs bedroom for us. Lots of planning for that too!
Sounds fun to me! I do like to change it up every one and a while. I'm thinking that in 2 years, we are going to find some new furniture from Ashley and sell this stuff. The hide-a-bed is nice, but we hardly use it AND I would like furniture that is better to sleep on -- this stuff is really narrow. All in due time -- first thing to do is pay off those credit cards and other debts! Just thinking ahead. It's how I roll.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Perspective
If you would have talked to me on Wednesday, I would have told you how everything in my life seemed really hard. It's hard to work, it's hard to be pregnant again, it's hard to have a two year old, etc. etc. etc. I have been stuck in a rut for a long, long time. I can't tell you exactly when it started, but I do know that it's been a long time. Even before things went topsy-turvy at work last November. You also would have heard how much I dislike living in Milwaukee.
I went to the wedding of someone I haven't seen in over 5 years, but was great friends with. We needed each other at a very hard time and I love her for that. It was so wonderful to see her again and see her HAPPY. It was just me, Jake and Ryan for two days together, traveling the state. Yes, we were tired and cranky, all of us, but it was the best vacation I've had in a long time and I'm looking forward to more in the future years. Even just two days.
So, it gave me a lot of perspective. Such as: I keep saying I miss living in Eau Claire. And we went back and visited for the first time in at least 4 years, if not more. And everything there seems SO different. Like, it's what I remember, but the thing that I remember and loved the most was: the people. And they are gone. So, I guess I missed what it was. And in that realization, I don't miss it. Sure, I miss the peace and quiet of living in a smaller town, but that's possible down here too. But, yet, still possible to take the kids to fun things in the big city.
Work is hard, yes, but it's not everything in life. And, frankly, I have only been there 5 years. That's not forever. I'm 31 (oh, god help me, I just wrote 32...ok, that's in 24 days) and I have tons of time ahead of me. Yes, I would like a career, but I want to do something I love, not something I just happen to be good at. So, if I want, I can do ANYTHING. I just need support from the people close to me, instead of judgement, which I get a lot of. I think that I know of something that I would love to do, but I'm not sure if I can hack the school while working. And I don't know how much money it would really make me. But, if I could hack it, and we get our finances together, maybe it would be possible for me to work a bit less and be home a bit more. I never really wanted a "career" anyway -- I was sincerely hoping that I would be able to stay home like my mom and just CHOOSE to work.
Being pregnant is hard too -- but it's NOT forever. By 2012, I'll be done (I think). I won't have to do it again unless I really want to (not that I HAD to do it this time, but it some ways, I did -- I didn't want Ryan to be the only). And yes, I do remember how difficult a time I had with Ryan when he first arrived, but I do know what I'm doing now, so I feel a bit more confident.
Ryan is just a typical two year old -- they are difficult! haha 'nuf said. I love him to pieces though.
I guess going away this weekend made me realize that things aren't that bad as I thought. Things can always be changed, you know? If I am having trouble and am not happy with the way things are, then they need to change. But, slow change is ok too. I'm just accepting things the way they are a bit more. Because, if they hadn't been this way, I wouldn't have Ryan. I can't imagine things without him.
I always told Jake that if he got an offer from another shop, that we should just go, but that's silly -- he's got a perfectly decent job at a shop that he likes, so why would we do that? The hardest part is that we work opposite directions -- if we both went the same way, we could move that way. So, maybe that is something to think about going forward. But, after this weekend, there is, in my mind, no reason to leave here -- he lucked out and found a job in state and was fortunate to be so good at what he did that he is still there and working repair full time.
I guess my point is this: It's not as bad as my brain was making it out to be. Sure, things suck from time to time -- isn't that how life goes sometimes? So, my focus should really be on getting things ready for my daughter and worry about the rest next year. Yes, easy to say -- hard to put into practice. But, this weekend sure helped.
I went to the wedding of someone I haven't seen in over 5 years, but was great friends with. We needed each other at a very hard time and I love her for that. It was so wonderful to see her again and see her HAPPY. It was just me, Jake and Ryan for two days together, traveling the state. Yes, we were tired and cranky, all of us, but it was the best vacation I've had in a long time and I'm looking forward to more in the future years. Even just two days.
So, it gave me a lot of perspective. Such as: I keep saying I miss living in Eau Claire. And we went back and visited for the first time in at least 4 years, if not more. And everything there seems SO different. Like, it's what I remember, but the thing that I remember and loved the most was: the people. And they are gone. So, I guess I missed what it was. And in that realization, I don't miss it. Sure, I miss the peace and quiet of living in a smaller town, but that's possible down here too. But, yet, still possible to take the kids to fun things in the big city.
Work is hard, yes, but it's not everything in life. And, frankly, I have only been there 5 years. That's not forever. I'm 31 (oh, god help me, I just wrote 32...ok, that's in 24 days) and I have tons of time ahead of me. Yes, I would like a career, but I want to do something I love, not something I just happen to be good at. So, if I want, I can do ANYTHING. I just need support from the people close to me, instead of judgement, which I get a lot of. I think that I know of something that I would love to do, but I'm not sure if I can hack the school while working. And I don't know how much money it would really make me. But, if I could hack it, and we get our finances together, maybe it would be possible for me to work a bit less and be home a bit more. I never really wanted a "career" anyway -- I was sincerely hoping that I would be able to stay home like my mom and just CHOOSE to work.
Being pregnant is hard too -- but it's NOT forever. By 2012, I'll be done (I think). I won't have to do it again unless I really want to (not that I HAD to do it this time, but it some ways, I did -- I didn't want Ryan to be the only). And yes, I do remember how difficult a time I had with Ryan when he first arrived, but I do know what I'm doing now, so I feel a bit more confident.
Ryan is just a typical two year old -- they are difficult! haha 'nuf said. I love him to pieces though.
I guess going away this weekend made me realize that things aren't that bad as I thought. Things can always be changed, you know? If I am having trouble and am not happy with the way things are, then they need to change. But, slow change is ok too. I'm just accepting things the way they are a bit more. Because, if they hadn't been this way, I wouldn't have Ryan. I can't imagine things without him.
I always told Jake that if he got an offer from another shop, that we should just go, but that's silly -- he's got a perfectly decent job at a shop that he likes, so why would we do that? The hardest part is that we work opposite directions -- if we both went the same way, we could move that way. So, maybe that is something to think about going forward. But, after this weekend, there is, in my mind, no reason to leave here -- he lucked out and found a job in state and was fortunate to be so good at what he did that he is still there and working repair full time.
I guess my point is this: It's not as bad as my brain was making it out to be. Sure, things suck from time to time -- isn't that how life goes sometimes? So, my focus should really be on getting things ready for my daughter and worry about the rest next year. Yes, easy to say -- hard to put into practice. But, this weekend sure helped.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Oooh....you can tell I've been posting in the other blog
Jul 23! Oh well.
Been making big plans in my mind. I really want to start swimming again. I just read a blog of someone who got over their depression several years ago by working out. Now, I will never be that hardcore, but I always, always loved to swim. I used to be pretty good at it too. One of my only regrets from HS was not joining the swim team; I wouldn't have gone to State or anything, but I think that I probably would have swum through college. Soccer had bigger priority, which was too bad, because I gave it up after freshman year. I knew I'd never make varsity -- I just didn't care.
But, there is adult only (big word: ADULT ONLY) open swim at Hale on Mondays in the fall -- I assume that the schedule probably won't be different in the spring, but I will double check. The WAWM Rec Dept also has an Adult Swim Fitness class that is more about getting back in shape (I think - I guess I would end up asking someone at the Rec Dept); So, I'm thinking about doing both after the baby. I know that it would be difficult, but at a certain point, I have to start taking care of myself. I know pretty much what caused the depression before -- combo of stress at home, from trying to switch Ryan into a big bed too early, combined with lack of sleep from same issue and stress from work from being down one team member and never being able to catch up. At this point, I don't think that I will need to go back on the zoloft once Lily comes, but I don't want to get to the point where I have no outlet and start channeling into the whole world being too hard for me to deal with. I've been there a few too many times.
So, I think that trying to swim is going to be the key for me. I may even ask Jake to switch which day he stays home during the day OR have Grandma and Grandpa watch the kids for an hour at night. I think I'd end up swimming for a half hour and be done.
We shall see what happens though. I've said this before here -- that I'm going to try swimming again. But, being in this time and this place -- I think that I actually mean it. And since I ended up down the weirdo path I ended up on before getting pregnant, I think that I'll have some support this time. That really was part of the issue too -- there was no support. I felt like I was doing everything alone. I know that I wasn't, but that's how it felt. Poor Jake. :) So, I know that this time, there are people that I can ask for help. Even if it's my daycare lady. She'd help me out for an hour -- I can pay extra! :)
Been making big plans in my mind. I really want to start swimming again. I just read a blog of someone who got over their depression several years ago by working out. Now, I will never be that hardcore, but I always, always loved to swim. I used to be pretty good at it too. One of my only regrets from HS was not joining the swim team; I wouldn't have gone to State or anything, but I think that I probably would have swum through college. Soccer had bigger priority, which was too bad, because I gave it up after freshman year. I knew I'd never make varsity -- I just didn't care.
But, there is adult only (big word: ADULT ONLY) open swim at Hale on Mondays in the fall -- I assume that the schedule probably won't be different in the spring, but I will double check. The WAWM Rec Dept also has an Adult Swim Fitness class that is more about getting back in shape (I think - I guess I would end up asking someone at the Rec Dept); So, I'm thinking about doing both after the baby. I know that it would be difficult, but at a certain point, I have to start taking care of myself. I know pretty much what caused the depression before -- combo of stress at home, from trying to switch Ryan into a big bed too early, combined with lack of sleep from same issue and stress from work from being down one team member and never being able to catch up. At this point, I don't think that I will need to go back on the zoloft once Lily comes, but I don't want to get to the point where I have no outlet and start channeling into the whole world being too hard for me to deal with. I've been there a few too many times.
So, I think that trying to swim is going to be the key for me. I may even ask Jake to switch which day he stays home during the day OR have Grandma and Grandpa watch the kids for an hour at night. I think I'd end up swimming for a half hour and be done.
We shall see what happens though. I've said this before here -- that I'm going to try swimming again. But, being in this time and this place -- I think that I actually mean it. And since I ended up down the weirdo path I ended up on before getting pregnant, I think that I'll have some support this time. That really was part of the issue too -- there was no support. I felt like I was doing everything alone. I know that I wasn't, but that's how it felt. Poor Jake. :) So, I know that this time, there are people that I can ask for help. Even if it's my daycare lady. She'd help me out for an hour -- I can pay extra! :)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Pintrest
While I was cleaning out my emails today, I found an invite to Pintrest from Kristine that I never noticed, because I get so much crap mail in my gmail.
Side note: Ryan just picked up one cat dish and emptied into the other. Because it had no food. Now, I'm trying to tell him where to find Mitchell. He doesn't get it.
So, anyway, I joined. I'm not sure I really, truly understand it, but it's a good place to put things where you want to remember them. And since I am always finding things that I want to do, but never having a place for them, it's pretty sweet for me.
As I said on Facebook, I can't wait for Aug 8 to get here. If that lady at the elective ultrasound place hadn't been so frickin weird, I would have gone last weekend. :( And I would know now. I'm still considering that, even thought Jake just thinks I should wait. These last two weeks are going to be painfully slow.
I wish I could just be off until then, but work is work is work. Pays for the car, for the insurance, and for daycare. Oddly enough. But, if I didn't work, we wouldn't survive. Now, if we had no CC, no car payment, no student loans, no mortgage, it would be totally sweet. Such is life. Seems stupid that all my student loans are for a degree I didn't finish and for the end of undergrad. I wish I would have been smarter with money in college. Things wouldn't be so painful now. Hindsight is 20/20. When you lose your direction half way through college, that sort of thing will happen. I should have taken a semester off to figure stuff out and then started again. Again: Hindsight. :)
Oh, well. Things are good the way they are now, too. I just wish my job was a bit more flexible that it is. I don't mind the 9-5 grind all year, but when you are having babies, vacations are scarce, because you are saving all your time for maternity leave. Maybe once we are done with kids (which should be after this one, anyway), we can start to figure out a way that I could work less and be home more. We'll mark this one, future thoughts. I know I talk about it a lot, but it's usually on my mind.
I also need to make a big list of things that absolutely need to be finished before Dec 20 and things that can wait. Like, finish trim in Ryan's room -- necessary, because the trim is sitting in the new nursery. Fixing the windows in the nursery room -- necessary, because the one has a bum screen and the inside window needs to be painted from brick red to white. Anything with the bathroom -- can wait. Well, that's where the test window is going, so that needs to be done. I'm trying to convince Jake to ask Josh to help (and by help, I mean Josh does the work, because Jake is slow) put a fan in the bathroom. But, that is something that can totally wait until next year.
So, that's on the agenda today. I just wish I had some time to take that I could do some of these things. Like, with Ryan, I could take a week off at Christmas time and I got to paint his room and stuff. Now -- we would have to just do it on the weekends. OR...I just don't get paid my first week off. That's always an option too. :)
Edited to say: I have started the tedious process of hiding my older posts. I don't mind them, but nobody who reads now needs to read "The Year of Undiagnosed Depression". :)
Side note: Ryan just picked up one cat dish and emptied into the other. Because it had no food. Now, I'm trying to tell him where to find Mitchell. He doesn't get it.
So, anyway, I joined. I'm not sure I really, truly understand it, but it's a good place to put things where you want to remember them. And since I am always finding things that I want to do, but never having a place for them, it's pretty sweet for me.
As I said on Facebook, I can't wait for Aug 8 to get here. If that lady at the elective ultrasound place hadn't been so frickin weird, I would have gone last weekend. :( And I would know now. I'm still considering that, even thought Jake just thinks I should wait. These last two weeks are going to be painfully slow.
I wish I could just be off until then, but work is work is work. Pays for the car, for the insurance, and for daycare. Oddly enough. But, if I didn't work, we wouldn't survive. Now, if we had no CC, no car payment, no student loans, no mortgage, it would be totally sweet. Such is life. Seems stupid that all my student loans are for a degree I didn't finish and for the end of undergrad. I wish I would have been smarter with money in college. Things wouldn't be so painful now. Hindsight is 20/20. When you lose your direction half way through college, that sort of thing will happen. I should have taken a semester off to figure stuff out and then started again. Again: Hindsight. :)
Oh, well. Things are good the way they are now, too. I just wish my job was a bit more flexible that it is. I don't mind the 9-5 grind all year, but when you are having babies, vacations are scarce, because you are saving all your time for maternity leave. Maybe once we are done with kids (which should be after this one, anyway), we can start to figure out a way that I could work less and be home more. We'll mark this one, future thoughts. I know I talk about it a lot, but it's usually on my mind.
I also need to make a big list of things that absolutely need to be finished before Dec 20 and things that can wait. Like, finish trim in Ryan's room -- necessary, because the trim is sitting in the new nursery. Fixing the windows in the nursery room -- necessary, because the one has a bum screen and the inside window needs to be painted from brick red to white. Anything with the bathroom -- can wait. Well, that's where the test window is going, so that needs to be done. I'm trying to convince Jake to ask Josh to help (and by help, I mean Josh does the work, because Jake is slow) put a fan in the bathroom. But, that is something that can totally wait until next year.
So, that's on the agenda today. I just wish I had some time to take that I could do some of these things. Like, with Ryan, I could take a week off at Christmas time and I got to paint his room and stuff. Now -- we would have to just do it on the weekends. OR...I just don't get paid my first week off. That's always an option too. :)
Edited to say: I have started the tedious process of hiding my older posts. I don't mind them, but nobody who reads now needs to read "The Year of Undiagnosed Depression". :)
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
So...would this creep you out?
So, most people who read this (I think) know me from school, right?
I have Google Analytics turned on this blog; there's another blog, that I have never heard of, that has made like 38 referrals to mine and when I try to go onto it to see what the deal is -- because, you know, WTF? -- it's invite only. So, it sort of creeps me out that someone is sending people to my blog and I can't see theirs, to know who they are. I'd send you to it, but it's blocked. I guess I could reference it here and see what happens. Just a little weirded out. Here's the link: Unknown blog So, if anyone knows who this is, feel free to clue me in.
I haven't gotten spam really, so I assume that these are all really peeps.
I have also been thinking about archiving (re: getting rid of) some of the older stuff on here. Not because it's not important to me, but because it's been 5 years. Maybe it's time to let it all go. Part of me is glad that it exists, but I don't want to keep reading about the year that I went crazy and I don't know how much I want to share with people who I don't know.
I've gotten negative comments on here before. Do I want more? Do I care? Not really. They are deletable. Any thoughts on the easiest way to do this? Download my whole blog to my compy and then delete the ones that I don't want showing anymore?
Three day weekend! Going up north for most of it. We'll probably come back in time to see my parents for dinner on Monday evening, I think. So, they can say Happy Birthday to Jake too. :)
Ooooh! Quick story about work: So, there is this lady on my four person team who is the worst kind of co-worker. She is very passive-agressive and she shoots her mouth off a lot. I will call her PAB (passive-agressive bitch); So, because there has been this tradition of nobody really standing up to her in public (our boss gives it to her in private), she just does crap and nobody really says anything. So, she is passing around a sheet, so she can take off July 5th (which means the 3 of us have to balance 4 days with extra work), and nobody cared, because there was nobody else off. I wasn't thinking ahead that far and I just said, mostly to myself, oh, right 4 day weekend. And she started to say something else, something about Christmas and I thought she was teasing me about being off at Christmas time with the new baby. So I said to her, "What's that?" because I didn't hear. And she says the following: "I said that I had to balance everything by myself for three days at Christmas, so I think you will be fine for one day." My jaw just about hit the floor. I guess her memory only extends to stuff she did, because I remember working 12 hours that week and helping her out extra when the other person was sick. Amazing, that PAB. So, I just replied, loud and clear: "Nobody was complaining." I think that I probably sounded shocked, because I was. That she had the audacity to bring that up with me, when I gave up my only vacation time all year pretty much, to work from home. She didn't say much the rest of the morning. The lesson of it all is that if I had known how easy it was to get her to shut up, I would have started a long time ago.
And that's the story of how I accidentally stood up to PAB at work. lol
I only started this 3 weeks ago. Whoops. Better late than never!
I have Google Analytics turned on this blog; there's another blog, that I have never heard of, that has made like 38 referrals to mine and when I try to go onto it to see what the deal is -- because, you know, WTF? -- it's invite only. So, it sort of creeps me out that someone is sending people to my blog and I can't see theirs, to know who they are. I'd send you to it, but it's blocked. I guess I could reference it here and see what happens. Just a little weirded out. Here's the link: Unknown blog So, if anyone knows who this is, feel free to clue me in.
I haven't gotten spam really, so I assume that these are all really peeps.
I have also been thinking about archiving (re: getting rid of) some of the older stuff on here. Not because it's not important to me, but because it's been 5 years. Maybe it's time to let it all go. Part of me is glad that it exists, but I don't want to keep reading about the year that I went crazy and I don't know how much I want to share with people who I don't know.
I've gotten negative comments on here before. Do I want more? Do I care? Not really. They are deletable. Any thoughts on the easiest way to do this? Download my whole blog to my compy and then delete the ones that I don't want showing anymore?
Three day weekend! Going up north for most of it. We'll probably come back in time to see my parents for dinner on Monday evening, I think. So, they can say Happy Birthday to Jake too. :)
Ooooh! Quick story about work: So, there is this lady on my four person team who is the worst kind of co-worker. She is very passive-agressive and she shoots her mouth off a lot. I will call her PAB (passive-agressive bitch); So, because there has been this tradition of nobody really standing up to her in public (our boss gives it to her in private), she just does crap and nobody really says anything. So, she is passing around a sheet, so she can take off July 5th (which means the 3 of us have to balance 4 days with extra work), and nobody cared, because there was nobody else off. I wasn't thinking ahead that far and I just said, mostly to myself, oh, right 4 day weekend. And she started to say something else, something about Christmas and I thought she was teasing me about being off at Christmas time with the new baby. So I said to her, "What's that?" because I didn't hear. And she says the following: "I said that I had to balance everything by myself for three days at Christmas, so I think you will be fine for one day." My jaw just about hit the floor. I guess her memory only extends to stuff she did, because I remember working 12 hours that week and helping her out extra when the other person was sick. Amazing, that PAB. So, I just replied, loud and clear: "Nobody was complaining." I think that I probably sounded shocked, because I was. That she had the audacity to bring that up with me, when I gave up my only vacation time all year pretty much, to work from home. She didn't say much the rest of the morning. The lesson of it all is that if I had known how easy it was to get her to shut up, I would have started a long time ago.
And that's the story of how I accidentally stood up to PAB at work. lol
I only started this 3 weeks ago. Whoops. Better late than never!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
A month goes by
Of course, I've been updating the other blog, so this one has been sort of quiet.
Ryan boy is growing like a weed! He had his two year check up on May 27, but his normal pedi missed it, because she was sick. :( I was said, because it was the last time I would see her before her maternity leave, and I was looking forward to it. So, the visit was brief, but they measured his weight at 26 lbs, 2 oz and 34.5 inches. I didn't have much to ask, because I was really running 40 mins late that day. Ugh! What a stressful day.
So, then, Jake saw her downtown for a children's orchestra concert and talked briefly -- found out that she hadn't had her baby yet and she had really just been sick that day. Yikes! So, I called the office the following Monday and she talked on the phone with me for 15 mins which was really nice of her to do. So, I got most of my questions answered that I thought of after the fact. Oops! Unprepared for my doctor's visit, I guess. haha
Everything is LOOK! LOOK! these days. It's all very, very exciting. Playing cars is fun, watching Yo Gabba Gabba is a big hit these days and everything in between. His language is getting so much clearer, it's amazing. Mama? Mama, what doing? Daddy! LOOK, LOOK! haha
2 year olds are hilarious for the most part. The screaming I could do without. and the tantrums. Oh well. It's all a rich tapestry.
Ryan boy is growing like a weed! He had his two year check up on May 27, but his normal pedi missed it, because she was sick. :( I was said, because it was the last time I would see her before her maternity leave, and I was looking forward to it. So, the visit was brief, but they measured his weight at 26 lbs, 2 oz and 34.5 inches. I didn't have much to ask, because I was really running 40 mins late that day. Ugh! What a stressful day.
So, then, Jake saw her downtown for a children's orchestra concert and talked briefly -- found out that she hadn't had her baby yet and she had really just been sick that day. Yikes! So, I called the office the following Monday and she talked on the phone with me for 15 mins which was really nice of her to do. So, I got most of my questions answered that I thought of after the fact. Oops! Unprepared for my doctor's visit, I guess. haha
Everything is LOOK! LOOK! these days. It's all very, very exciting. Playing cars is fun, watching Yo Gabba Gabba is a big hit these days and everything in between. His language is getting so much clearer, it's amazing. Mama? Mama, what doing? Daddy! LOOK, LOOK! haha
2 year olds are hilarious for the most part. The screaming I could do without. and the tantrums. Oh well. It's all a rich tapestry.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Well, shit, we're here, why not?
I don't feel the need to wait anymore. What's the point? It will either be fine, or it won't. And you'll be here, for the whole ride!
Part Deux
Happy Weekend!
Part Deux
Happy Weekend!
Monday, May 02, 2011
It's been awhile!
Oops!
Our vacation to Maryland was fun, but not terribly relaxing. Which is ok. Next time we go, I think that maybe we'll have to just take a couple of days in the city for ourselves. Or something.
Ryan is very much a 2 year old -- very full of mischief and laughter. And emotions and opinions. Mostly the latter. But, he's a very good boy overall. WORTH IT! haha
Nothing new to report around here otherwise. I can't decide if I am tired of my job or not. Lots of things to think about in the next couple of years. One more kid, for sure, then what? I just don't know if I see a future at that job anymore, and it sort of makes me sad. Also, I just don't know if my best is good enough for them. They almost expect me to be perfect and nobody is perfect. I just am unsure. I sure did enjoy not thinking one single thought about work while I was gone. That was awesome.
I just...I didn't enjoy hearing that after I busted my ass working on something all of November and December and weeding my way through the bull crap and coming to a conclusion on everything, that I didn't do it right. I didn't have a choice of what I did. I almost wanted to say that she should have been a better manager last year. She totally buried me and then when I was drowning, she couldn't throw me a ring fast enough, because she has people that she can't rely on, on the rest of the team. It's been better this year, with four of us, but I just don't know if I can trust her anymore and I don't know if I can work for someone that I don't trust.
So, I'm sort of stuck where I am right now. I'm not sure where to go from here. I suppose that we'll have a meeting about it eventually; I just can't decide where to go, what to do. I would like to go back to school, almost, but full time and do something new...or finish accounting and do that.
Lots of things to consider. I'm off to ponder some more.
Our vacation to Maryland was fun, but not terribly relaxing. Which is ok. Next time we go, I think that maybe we'll have to just take a couple of days in the city for ourselves. Or something.
Ryan is very much a 2 year old -- very full of mischief and laughter. And emotions and opinions. Mostly the latter. But, he's a very good boy overall. WORTH IT! haha
Nothing new to report around here otherwise. I can't decide if I am tired of my job or not. Lots of things to think about in the next couple of years. One more kid, for sure, then what? I just don't know if I see a future at that job anymore, and it sort of makes me sad. Also, I just don't know if my best is good enough for them. They almost expect me to be perfect and nobody is perfect. I just am unsure. I sure did enjoy not thinking one single thought about work while I was gone. That was awesome.
I just...I didn't enjoy hearing that after I busted my ass working on something all of November and December and weeding my way through the bull crap and coming to a conclusion on everything, that I didn't do it right. I didn't have a choice of what I did. I almost wanted to say that she should have been a better manager last year. She totally buried me and then when I was drowning, she couldn't throw me a ring fast enough, because she has people that she can't rely on, on the rest of the team. It's been better this year, with four of us, but I just don't know if I can trust her anymore and I don't know if I can work for someone that I don't trust.
So, I'm sort of stuck where I am right now. I'm not sure where to go from here. I suppose that we'll have a meeting about it eventually; I just can't decide where to go, what to do. I would like to go back to school, almost, but full time and do something new...or finish accounting and do that.
Lots of things to consider. I'm off to ponder some more.
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Round 1...FIGHT!
So, my HSG was rescheduled for April 27th at 9am; my doctor will actually be there to do the procedure this time. It's the way the rest of the hospitals do this sort of thing. So, he'll be there to shove dye up in me while the radiologist takes a pic. Fun times.
However...
My monitor that I spend mucho dollars on worked as designed. Based on the two peak days I got, I am almost thinking that we have been mistiming this whole business for this whole time. We shall see though. We nailed this month, so if I don't get preggers this time, then I really do feel like there is something else going on.
So, this is sort of like when I was pregnant with Ryan; they will probably give me one due date, but I will know it's slightly later.
I would say that it will be two weeks, but I know that I will test sooner and usually by 10 or 11 days after, if I have negative tests, I assume not preggo.
Historically, that is a pretty solid assumption for me.
I'll keep you posted. :)
However...
My monitor that I spend mucho dollars on worked as designed. Based on the two peak days I got, I am almost thinking that we have been mistiming this whole business for this whole time. We shall see though. We nailed this month, so if I don't get preggers this time, then I really do feel like there is something else going on.
So, this is sort of like when I was pregnant with Ryan; they will probably give me one due date, but I will know it's slightly later.
I would say that it will be two weeks, but I know that I will test sooner and usually by 10 or 11 days after, if I have negative tests, I assume not preggo.
Historically, that is a pretty solid assumption for me.
I'll keep you posted. :)
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Painfully Painful
You'd think, from the title, that this post is about my HSG that I wasn't having on Friday. But, it's not. Because I didn't have it done. The receptionist spelled it out for the schedulers at West Allis Memorial, but they still didn't get it. So, when I was ready and Radiology was ready, they didn't realize that my doctor was not doing the procedure. So, they sent me home, because nobody could do it. And it was the last possible day that it could have been done.
So...I will have to wait until next month. Unless I am preggers. Then, I will not need it.
Sigh
I don't blame the hospital or my doctor. I blame Humana for cock blocking the entire Wheaton Franciscan hospital network out of their insurance. I am thinking of writing letters to Humana every day and starting a drive for everyone in the greater SE WI area to do the same. It is RIDICULOUS that Humana is carried by some of the area's biggest employers and we can't use one of the biggest hospital networks in the area, all because they don't want to let us. Because they can "be selective/exclusive/whatever/junkyard". If I could have gone to Elmbrook, I think this would have been done last Wednesday and I wouldn't have wasted ANOTHER month.
Anyway, in theory, my EDD would be Dec 25th. Let's all hope for a Christmas Miracle. I am undecided if I will just say something right away on here or not. I probably will. I'll have to blog it. haha Like always. Or, I'll just keep the secret one and open it at 12 weeks.
Well, frankly, if I get sick like I did with Ryan boy, I will admit it right away, because I will assume the best. I'm optimistic like that.
Ryan recovered from the ear infection nicely. I think that the meds really make his tummy hurt though. He's not the same until they are finished. So, now we have a happy, fun little boy back. Too bad Mom and Dad aren't as happy and fun loving right now. We were both very, very cranky today.
So, we ditched AT&T U-Verse for Netflix and the internet, saving about $90 a month. It's sort of boring, but I will probably get more sewing done. I have many stockings to produce. I'm 60% done with Jameson's and then there's Will. Maybe I will be done by Christmas. I have high hopes to be done with Jameson's by the end of May. We shall see.
But, in the likely event that we will have to pay monthly for a "new" car to replace my rapidly aging Camry, this will free up some money. Plus, there is TONS of stuff for Ryan to watch, since he loves to watch shows back to back to back.
So, long story short: HSG around April 27 or 28, unless there is a BFP around April 17.
Let's cross our fingers for the latter. I'd rather not have to have the former done. :)
So...I will have to wait until next month. Unless I am preggers. Then, I will not need it.
Sigh
I don't blame the hospital or my doctor. I blame Humana for cock blocking the entire Wheaton Franciscan hospital network out of their insurance. I am thinking of writing letters to Humana every day and starting a drive for everyone in the greater SE WI area to do the same. It is RIDICULOUS that Humana is carried by some of the area's biggest employers and we can't use one of the biggest hospital networks in the area, all because they don't want to let us. Because they can "be selective/exclusive/whatever/junkyard". If I could have gone to Elmbrook, I think this would have been done last Wednesday and I wouldn't have wasted ANOTHER month.
Anyway, in theory, my EDD would be Dec 25th. Let's all hope for a Christmas Miracle. I am undecided if I will just say something right away on here or not. I probably will. I'll have to blog it. haha Like always. Or, I'll just keep the secret one and open it at 12 weeks.
Well, frankly, if I get sick like I did with Ryan boy, I will admit it right away, because I will assume the best. I'm optimistic like that.
Ryan recovered from the ear infection nicely. I think that the meds really make his tummy hurt though. He's not the same until they are finished. So, now we have a happy, fun little boy back. Too bad Mom and Dad aren't as happy and fun loving right now. We were both very, very cranky today.
So, we ditched AT&T U-Verse for Netflix and the internet, saving about $90 a month. It's sort of boring, but I will probably get more sewing done. I have many stockings to produce. I'm 60% done with Jameson's and then there's Will. Maybe I will be done by Christmas. I have high hopes to be done with Jameson's by the end of May. We shall see.
But, in the likely event that we will have to pay monthly for a "new" car to replace my rapidly aging Camry, this will free up some money. Plus, there is TONS of stuff for Ryan to watch, since he loves to watch shows back to back to back.
So, long story short: HSG around April 27 or 28, unless there is a BFP around April 17.
Let's cross our fingers for the latter. I'd rather not have to have the former done. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Secondary
Why it's secondary, I don't know. But, that's what we're calling it. Just to term it differently than those with primary, I guess.
For all the stories of others that I read, I figured that I still had 6 months to keep trying. But, my doctor doesn't like to screw around, I guess. So, we are proceeding with some testing. Test #1: Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). On Friday. April Fools Day.
Coincidentally: My Dad's 60th Birthday
At least I get a half a day at work.
The most promising thing is this: I have read an ass ton of stories (their anecdotal qualities notwithstanding) about women who get pregnant the same cycle as their HSG. So, I have everything crossed for this promise. Because that would put me due on Dec 26th, which would still be this year. And on Jan 1, I can stop paying for the hugely expensive insurance. And have normal paychecks again.
It is a different path than I thought we would have, but that's ok. I was figuring we would have some extra drugs and some more trying on our own. But, as always, I am ok with that. The only thing that is tough is that my doc does most of his work at Elmbrook Memorial (where I had Ryan boy), but that hospital is not on my insurance anymore...so...West Allis Memorial it is. I really want to stay with him, but I am starting to think that it might just be easier to find a doctor in network that's at West Allis Memorial. I assume that if I just go to a doc at the hospital, I would have easier access to ultrasounds and appts all at the same time, you know? We'll see how the HSG goes and go from there. I do like my doctor and I LOVE that he's not messing around with this, but at the same time, I am all about simplicity and streamlining the process.
or to put it another way: Humana sucks.
My hope is that everything is clear and this procedure clears out my tubes, so maybe we have a chance for the next couple of months.
I'm crossing everything.
For all the stories of others that I read, I figured that I still had 6 months to keep trying. But, my doctor doesn't like to screw around, I guess. So, we are proceeding with some testing. Test #1: Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). On Friday. April Fools Day.
Coincidentally: My Dad's 60th Birthday
At least I get a half a day at work.
The most promising thing is this: I have read an ass ton of stories (their anecdotal qualities notwithstanding) about women who get pregnant the same cycle as their HSG. So, I have everything crossed for this promise. Because that would put me due on Dec 26th, which would still be this year. And on Jan 1, I can stop paying for the hugely expensive insurance. And have normal paychecks again.
It is a different path than I thought we would have, but that's ok. I was figuring we would have some extra drugs and some more trying on our own. But, as always, I am ok with that. The only thing that is tough is that my doc does most of his work at Elmbrook Memorial (where I had Ryan boy), but that hospital is not on my insurance anymore...so...West Allis Memorial it is. I really want to stay with him, but I am starting to think that it might just be easier to find a doctor in network that's at West Allis Memorial. I assume that if I just go to a doc at the hospital, I would have easier access to ultrasounds and appts all at the same time, you know? We'll see how the HSG goes and go from there. I do like my doctor and I LOVE that he's not messing around with this, but at the same time, I am all about simplicity and streamlining the process.
or to put it another way: Humana sucks.
My hope is that everything is clear and this procedure clears out my tubes, so maybe we have a chance for the next couple of months.
I'm crossing everything.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Biggest Question of All
Honestly: How do I stop following my own blog? Do I really need to know in my Google Reader that I made an update?
I should have looked how long it's been since the last post. Probably a month, because I think my last post was about Zoloft and how awesome it is and if you are still acting unnaturally 4-6 months after birth, you should probably ask a doctor about it.
I write for two reasons today. Reason the first: We are currently living through the 3 ear infection in 4 months. Double one this time. I'm learning the signs very quickly though. His start with a simple cold, which suddenly gets worse and includes a wet cough. Then, fever. Ugh. And something new: Eyes get red. that's the telltale sign for Ryan. His eyes start to turn red -- it's not pink eye, when it's like YIKES! But, it's just very subtle. So, back onto Cefdinir for 10 days, 1 tsp in the morning and 1 tsp at night. Well, breakfast and dinner.
The poor little guy was up so early this morning that he's been in his bed sleeping on and off since noon and it's almost 4. I figure -- 2 hours missed this morning, plus 2 hour regular nap.
I hope he's better when he gets up, because Grandma is coming over to watch him tonight for a couple hours, which brings us to reason the second:
I have a consult with my OBGYN at 5:45pm tonight and Jake is going with. 6 months have passed and I am not pregnant (nor have I gotten pregnant). So, I called, thinking that I could just talk to the doctor about everything, but they made me come in. I'm not totally certain of what will be discussed, but I will say that the last time I had a consult with this doctor, I found myself pregnant quite soon afterward and that pregnancy is the one with the ear infections. So, maybe this will be a good idea, just from a fate perspective. But, my cycles have been a little wonky recently and I want to discuss taking Prometrium in the back half of my cycle, after ovulation, because I have a history of low progesterone. I took it with the last to pregnancies, and while one was doomed from the start, Ryan is here and just the sweetest little boy ever.
I also spent some big bucks on a Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, to tell me with a higher degree of accuracy when the best time to...you know. haha; I'd rather know what's coming that realizing it after the fact that you're too late. Which is coming from UPS today. And since I don't want to miss it, I couldn't take a four hour nap with Ryan. Which I REALLY could have used.
And the circle of events is complete.
And then I found 5 dollars.
I should have looked how long it's been since the last post. Probably a month, because I think my last post was about Zoloft and how awesome it is and if you are still acting unnaturally 4-6 months after birth, you should probably ask a doctor about it.
I write for two reasons today. Reason the first: We are currently living through the 3 ear infection in 4 months. Double one this time. I'm learning the signs very quickly though. His start with a simple cold, which suddenly gets worse and includes a wet cough. Then, fever. Ugh. And something new: Eyes get red. that's the telltale sign for Ryan. His eyes start to turn red -- it's not pink eye, when it's like YIKES! But, it's just very subtle. So, back onto Cefdinir for 10 days, 1 tsp in the morning and 1 tsp at night. Well, breakfast and dinner.
The poor little guy was up so early this morning that he's been in his bed sleeping on and off since noon and it's almost 4. I figure -- 2 hours missed this morning, plus 2 hour regular nap.
I hope he's better when he gets up, because Grandma is coming over to watch him tonight for a couple hours, which brings us to reason the second:
I have a consult with my OBGYN at 5:45pm tonight and Jake is going with. 6 months have passed and I am not pregnant (nor have I gotten pregnant). So, I called, thinking that I could just talk to the doctor about everything, but they made me come in. I'm not totally certain of what will be discussed, but I will say that the last time I had a consult with this doctor, I found myself pregnant quite soon afterward and that pregnancy is the one with the ear infections. So, maybe this will be a good idea, just from a fate perspective. But, my cycles have been a little wonky recently and I want to discuss taking Prometrium in the back half of my cycle, after ovulation, because I have a history of low progesterone. I took it with the last to pregnancies, and while one was doomed from the start, Ryan is here and just the sweetest little boy ever.
I also spent some big bucks on a Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, to tell me with a higher degree of accuracy when the best time to...you know. haha; I'd rather know what's coming that realizing it after the fact that you're too late. Which is coming from UPS today. And since I don't want to miss it, I couldn't take a four hour nap with Ryan. Which I REALLY could have used.
And the circle of events is complete.
And then I found 5 dollars.
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Magic of the SSRI
It really does work for me. I'm on a low dose and it's been much, much easier to deal with life in general. Laundry is not so daunting. I don't feel like choking people at work or at home anymore. And trust me, that was at least an every other day thought for a while. Coping with life is much easier. And I feel like I can smile again. I never realized how bad it was until my friend who took another job at my company came back to visit me and have lunch and I could barely muster up the excitement to see her again. I was broken. Very, very broken.
Now? Much better. Bonus side effect: Appetite suppressant. I guess it could be taken as nausea, but I just find myself not needing to eat so much to feel normal or happy or whatever. So, I continue to lose weight. I have lost 14 pounds since September and approx. 20 lbs since last year at this time. I weighed in at 210 this morning and I had topped out around 231 right after the holidays in 2010. And since I have the weight to lose, I don't mind. I'm kind of hoping that I can get back to where I was in college, which was 175. Seems far away that I could get there, but I've lost 15 in the past 6 months, so who's to say I can't keep going?
So, I am happy with both items. I feel normal again and I'm losing the last of the Ryan weight.
On the baby front, that has been a chore at best. Gravida: 3; Para: 1 I'm aiming for Gravida: 4; Para: 2 (heck, let's be bold and aim for Gravida: 4; Para: 3! Haha!). Frankly, in my book of life, one more miscarriage and I will term it RPL and call Ryan a fluke. So, wish us luck in March. I could handle a Thanksgiving baby.
Now? Much better. Bonus side effect: Appetite suppressant. I guess it could be taken as nausea, but I just find myself not needing to eat so much to feel normal or happy or whatever. So, I continue to lose weight. I have lost 14 pounds since September and approx. 20 lbs since last year at this time. I weighed in at 210 this morning and I had topped out around 231 right after the holidays in 2010. And since I have the weight to lose, I don't mind. I'm kind of hoping that I can get back to where I was in college, which was 175. Seems far away that I could get there, but I've lost 15 in the past 6 months, so who's to say I can't keep going?
So, I am happy with both items. I feel normal again and I'm losing the last of the Ryan weight.
On the baby front, that has been a chore at best. Gravida: 3; Para: 1 I'm aiming for Gravida: 4; Para: 2 (heck, let's be bold and aim for Gravida: 4; Para: 3! Haha!). Frankly, in my book of life, one more miscarriage and I will term it RPL and call Ryan a fluke. So, wish us luck in March. I could handle a Thanksgiving baby.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Reconsideration
So, what was a bad cold for Ryan turned into a second ear infection. His second in three months. He didn't have any for the first 18 months. Which is sort of strange, in its own way. But, it was just a bad cold and when I picked him up from daycare on Wednesday, his left eye was reddish, under the lid. Turns out, this is a sign of an ear infection. As in, the left ear is infected and the infection spread to his eye. Yuck!
So, we are on the good antibiotics now, since he's allergic to the cheap stuff. $30.00 for the 10 day dosage. Without insurance, this would cost $99.99. Woof! One dose and he's already doing WAY better. But, since the eye was included with the infection, he has to be on the drugs for 24 hours before he can go back to daycare. So, I have been home for two days with him, because I can get paid and if Jake doesn't work, he don't get paid.
Being home for the past two days has been fairly easy and made me realize that if I could stay home with him, or if I had to, for whatever reason, I could do it. I don't know if it's the Zoloft finally working it's magic, because I have said many, many times that I could NEVER stay home with him, because I would be so bored. But, with some rest and some deep thoughts, I know that I wouldn't have a problem with it. I could plan trips and projects and take "Mommy and Me" classes and I could, in theory, enroll him in programs that would get him out of the house and into someone else's hands for at least a couple of hours. And I just feel like the house would be better, cleaner and I would be saner. And I could always find something, at some point, that I could do part time. Or, I could go back to school, like I have been wanting to for a while.
So, maybe one of my new goals in the next couple of years is to get to a point where I can stay at home. Of course, by the time that that happens, he will be in school and it won't matter. But, I would like to be in a position to be home for him after school and to take him to school.
I guess it would take careful planning and all that before such a decision. And right now, it's just not feasible. But, maybe....just maybe. I have dreams! :)
So, we are on the good antibiotics now, since he's allergic to the cheap stuff. $30.00 for the 10 day dosage. Without insurance, this would cost $99.99. Woof! One dose and he's already doing WAY better. But, since the eye was included with the infection, he has to be on the drugs for 24 hours before he can go back to daycare. So, I have been home for two days with him, because I can get paid and if Jake doesn't work, he don't get paid.
Being home for the past two days has been fairly easy and made me realize that if I could stay home with him, or if I had to, for whatever reason, I could do it. I don't know if it's the Zoloft finally working it's magic, because I have said many, many times that I could NEVER stay home with him, because I would be so bored. But, with some rest and some deep thoughts, I know that I wouldn't have a problem with it. I could plan trips and projects and take "Mommy and Me" classes and I could, in theory, enroll him in programs that would get him out of the house and into someone else's hands for at least a couple of hours. And I just feel like the house would be better, cleaner and I would be saner. And I could always find something, at some point, that I could do part time. Or, I could go back to school, like I have been wanting to for a while.
So, maybe one of my new goals in the next couple of years is to get to a point where I can stay at home. Of course, by the time that that happens, he will be in school and it won't matter. But, I would like to be in a position to be home for him after school and to take him to school.
I guess it would take careful planning and all that before such a decision. And right now, it's just not feasible. But, maybe....just maybe. I have dreams! :)
Monday, February 07, 2011
Two weeks
It seems silly to say, but after two weeks of Zoloft, I can already tell the difference. Or maybe, in a way, knowing is the half the battle too.
But, I am far more relaxed than I was, even a week ago, even when I am losing sleep to Ryan illness. The tense, crazy episodes are much less. I'm not getting as upset as I was, which is awesome to me. And, I actually want to do things, instead of nothing. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing nothing is nice sometimes, but not when you have a bunch of laundry and things to do in the house and you have the energy to do: nothing.
The plague of illness continues at our house. I don't think there has been a time since Thanksgiving when someone hasn't had one thing or another. I was sick, then Ryan and Jake were sick, then I was sick again, then Ryan was sick again. And rinse and repeat. Ryan came down with a pretty good cold yesterday -- slight fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. I feel terrible for him. He went into his bed 15 mins early tonight and he didn't complain too much. I have a feeling I might be up and down tonight however, but that's ok. I will survive.
Yeah Packers! I'm still in that state of "I can't believe they won!". I don't know if it will ever go away. Sometimes, I still have strange reactions to things, so maybe this is just one of those things.
Not too much going on around here otherwise. Very even and quiet lately, which is very nice.
I am totally in love with the new style Fuzzi Bunz! I just bought 7 online and with 15% off, I basically got one for free, which is pretty sweet, if you ask me. I got a free one a couple of weeks back with a laundry detergent order and I tried it -- and it's awesome! The legs adjust and the waist is very adjustable and they are snaps, so they stay on Ryan's skinny butt overnight. I can't wait for my fluffy mail! :) Cloth diapers are the best thing ever, let me tell you. I know that it seems weird, but it is just so very, very easy. Well, it's as easy as you make it, you know?
I really need to sit down and evaluate all of my crafting projects. I have like 20 things in process, but most of them, I don't know what I am going to do with them when I am done. The next on my 'to-do' list are: Finishing Jameson's Christmas stocking, starting and finishing one for Will and starting one for my next child, if I have one this year before Christmas. I've really only got like two more tries this year and then we are into next year. Which is fine. Because then, it's a whole other year before I need to finish. And I can bump something else up in the list. But, I have just had so many ideas and plans and things that I really want to do, that it's hard to finish. Plus, with the boy, it's hard to sit and do anything -- when I have free time, I just want to relax.
Oh well. Such is life, right?
But, I am far more relaxed than I was, even a week ago, even when I am losing sleep to Ryan illness. The tense, crazy episodes are much less. I'm not getting as upset as I was, which is awesome to me. And, I actually want to do things, instead of nothing. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing nothing is nice sometimes, but not when you have a bunch of laundry and things to do in the house and you have the energy to do: nothing.
The plague of illness continues at our house. I don't think there has been a time since Thanksgiving when someone hasn't had one thing or another. I was sick, then Ryan and Jake were sick, then I was sick again, then Ryan was sick again. And rinse and repeat. Ryan came down with a pretty good cold yesterday -- slight fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. I feel terrible for him. He went into his bed 15 mins early tonight and he didn't complain too much. I have a feeling I might be up and down tonight however, but that's ok. I will survive.
Yeah Packers! I'm still in that state of "I can't believe they won!". I don't know if it will ever go away. Sometimes, I still have strange reactions to things, so maybe this is just one of those things.
Not too much going on around here otherwise. Very even and quiet lately, which is very nice.
I am totally in love with the new style Fuzzi Bunz! I just bought 7 online and with 15% off, I basically got one for free, which is pretty sweet, if you ask me. I got a free one a couple of weeks back with a laundry detergent order and I tried it -- and it's awesome! The legs adjust and the waist is very adjustable and they are snaps, so they stay on Ryan's skinny butt overnight. I can't wait for my fluffy mail! :) Cloth diapers are the best thing ever, let me tell you. I know that it seems weird, but it is just so very, very easy. Well, it's as easy as you make it, you know?
I really need to sit down and evaluate all of my crafting projects. I have like 20 things in process, but most of them, I don't know what I am going to do with them when I am done. The next on my 'to-do' list are: Finishing Jameson's Christmas stocking, starting and finishing one for Will and starting one for my next child, if I have one this year before Christmas. I've really only got like two more tries this year and then we are into next year. Which is fine. Because then, it's a whole other year before I need to finish. And I can bump something else up in the list. But, I have just had so many ideas and plans and things that I really want to do, that it's hard to finish. Plus, with the boy, it's hard to sit and do anything -- when I have free time, I just want to relax.
Oh well. Such is life, right?
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
DOOM!!!! (alternate title: Snow Day)
Snow day around these parts. I worked for about 3 hours this morning. Jake shoveled us out (see Facebook pics) and then took Ryan to daycare. She was open today, but he was the only one there. would rather not burn one of my 10 sick days on the SECOND day of their calendar year (which runs Feb 1 - Jan 31, to include all the holidays in one year). So, Ryan is at daycare with our lady and her two kids. They all love him, so I'm sure he's having a wonderful time.
We are being bums. It's sort of nice. I have some laundry to do and such things around the house, but we never get to sit around during the day Ryan free.
I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as the weathermen were saying this morning, until I saw a neighbor trying to get out of his driveway. I have never seen anyone plow their driveway with their RAV-4 (or whatever kind of SUV he had) until today, but it was pretty sweet. I guess the poor guy seized up his snowblower, because he forgot to put oil in! Duh! So, our neighbor with the huge snowblower went over and saved him.
I knew that my Toyota was doomed when I saw him driving in the road.
We'll survive.
Ryan must be on a growth spurt again, because he has been eating like a pig. Well, maybe more like a duck. Pigs chew their food. Dinner the other night was a hot dog, half a cup of broccoli, some mashed potatoes and an entire banana. Breakfast this morning was three pieces of string cheese and a banana and a half. Ridiculous. I'm sort of wondering what the food bills will be like when he is a teenager. Frightening.
We are being bums. It's sort of nice. I have some laundry to do and such things around the house, but we never get to sit around during the day Ryan free.
I thought maybe it wasn't as bad as the weathermen were saying this morning, until I saw a neighbor trying to get out of his driveway. I have never seen anyone plow their driveway with their RAV-4 (or whatever kind of SUV he had) until today, but it was pretty sweet. I guess the poor guy seized up his snowblower, because he forgot to put oil in! Duh! So, our neighbor with the huge snowblower went over and saved him.
I knew that my Toyota was doomed when I saw him driving in the road.
We'll survive.
Ryan must be on a growth spurt again, because he has been eating like a pig. Well, maybe more like a duck. Pigs chew their food. Dinner the other night was a hot dog, half a cup of broccoli, some mashed potatoes and an entire banana. Breakfast this morning was three pieces of string cheese and a banana and a half. Ridiculous. I'm sort of wondering what the food bills will be like when he is a teenager. Frightening.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Return of The Crib
Aaaaaaand...
We're back in the crib. We put it together correctly now, so the mattress is on the very bottom position. He screamed for the first 15 mins and now he's sleeping. Like he did in the toddler bed too. So, no different there. I am hopeful that I will be sleeping all night tonight.
He needs to learn to put himself back to sleep -- he used to be able to do it. and then he would sleep from 7 to 7, almost every night. Now, we are going to bed late and getting up early to watch "Choo" (A Disney show called Chuggington). Ridiculous. We are trying to cut back on TV time, but I think it's going to be even more. I am done with the TV requests.
So, the next week or so will tell what happens with him. I hope to be sleeping again.
Also, today, I saw a new doctor. I really liked her -- she is just for general family doctor. I will still see by OBGYN too, for now. But, for months now, I have been having trouble dealing with life. I thought it was just stress or just being too busy or the holidays or whatever. But, it came to a point that I was easily irritable, and very, very angry and I could not control it. Well, I could control myself, but I couldn't stop the blood pressure rise and the RAGE. Pure anger. And it occurred to me that I have not just been feeling like this for a few months, but since Ryan was born. Which would make it Post Pardum Depression, PPD.
I felt really bad, because I was trying to be a little rational and tell the doctor how I had been feeling and all that, and instead, I just started to cry. I apologized and told her that I didn't want to unload on her, but here was how I've been feeling. And, I just don't feel like me. I feel wrong and backwards and a million other things. I have no energy to do normal things around the house, much less to do things that I actually enjoy, like sewing, cross stitching, etc. etc. etc.
So, she asked me all the standard depression questions and did do a physical exam. She is doing blood work on me, but said that she really thought it was PPD.
So, as of 1/26/11, I take Zoloft. I go back in one month to check out how I feel. I am hoping there is a difference. Because right now, I have been like this for so long, that I feel like this is normal -- I just don't know how I will be different.
But, I am hoping that I will enjoy my life again. Because right now, I definitely don't. I try, but I just don't have it. I'm hoping that I find it again.
We're back in the crib. We put it together correctly now, so the mattress is on the very bottom position. He screamed for the first 15 mins and now he's sleeping. Like he did in the toddler bed too. So, no different there. I am hopeful that I will be sleeping all night tonight.
He needs to learn to put himself back to sleep -- he used to be able to do it. and then he would sleep from 7 to 7, almost every night. Now, we are going to bed late and getting up early to watch "Choo" (A Disney show called Chuggington). Ridiculous. We are trying to cut back on TV time, but I think it's going to be even more. I am done with the TV requests.
So, the next week or so will tell what happens with him. I hope to be sleeping again.
Also, today, I saw a new doctor. I really liked her -- she is just for general family doctor. I will still see by OBGYN too, for now. But, for months now, I have been having trouble dealing with life. I thought it was just stress or just being too busy or the holidays or whatever. But, it came to a point that I was easily irritable, and very, very angry and I could not control it. Well, I could control myself, but I couldn't stop the blood pressure rise and the RAGE. Pure anger. And it occurred to me that I have not just been feeling like this for a few months, but since Ryan was born. Which would make it Post Pardum Depression, PPD.
I felt really bad, because I was trying to be a little rational and tell the doctor how I had been feeling and all that, and instead, I just started to cry. I apologized and told her that I didn't want to unload on her, but here was how I've been feeling. And, I just don't feel like me. I feel wrong and backwards and a million other things. I have no energy to do normal things around the house, much less to do things that I actually enjoy, like sewing, cross stitching, etc. etc. etc.
So, she asked me all the standard depression questions and did do a physical exam. She is doing blood work on me, but said that she really thought it was PPD.
So, as of 1/26/11, I take Zoloft. I go back in one month to check out how I feel. I am hoping there is a difference. Because right now, I have been like this for so long, that I feel like this is normal -- I just don't know how I will be different.
But, I am hoping that I will enjoy my life again. Because right now, I definitely don't. I try, but I just don't have it. I'm hoping that I find it again.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
So, Guess What?
I decided this week that starting over was unnecessary. That I should just keep going. Because it's all a part of who I am and where I came from.
Plus, I just wasn't writing that much any way. I felt silly trying to be anonymous, because only people that knew me were reading anyway, right.
I'm taking a page from Josh Hertel and trying to remember to write, at least once a week, something of value.
Ryan is 20 months now. He is the greatest thing evah! I mean, there are moments where I want nothing better than to smoosh his little face, but he is wonderful. He knows many words and just is so funny. So dramatic. A great dancer. The little blonde boy.
I don't know if anyone reads this one anymore, but maybe if I write a new post, someone will come back to read again.
Since we're still in January, I can still make my resolutions/goals for this year! :)
Let's take a look at what I wanted to accomplish for 2010:
1. Seriously, lose 20 pounds (which is the remaining baby weight); then I will stop looking 5 months pregnant and my pants will fit again
2. Pay credit cards down under 5k (tax refunds will help this significantly)
3. Save $500 for realz
I set my bar low-ish last year. How did I do?
1. Considering that by the end of 2009, I was actually close to where I was at 7 months preggo in weight, I came very close to this goal! I lost about 5 lbs in February, and kind of bounced around 225 over the summer and fall. In August, I suddenly decided it was time. I'd had enough! I started Weight Watchers again and really followed it. By the end of the year, I had lost another 10 pounds! So, I hover right around 215 now, give or take. But, I do need to exercise (like with the 30 day shred) because my knees sound god-awful again. But, I lost 15 pounds over 2010. Pretty frickin' good, if you ask me!
2. We borrowed money against my 401k this year and paid off my cards. I can sacrifice the small loss in retirement income for the big loss of debt and interest payments. So, the credit cards, all of them combined, are hovering right around this number too. So, I call this one very close too. With this year's refund, we will be down to the end of it -- and we are both thrilled.
3. We didn't save any money this year, but the focus on paying things off/down was the biggest part of that.
So, for 2011!
1. Finish paying off the credit cards (I think this can be done by the end of summer, for sure)
2. Start paying off the mortgage, so we have real equity in the house. We refinanced this year and lost most of it to closing costs. But, without credit card payments, we can start dumping an extra $400/month onto the house. That way, when we get ready to sell in the next few years, we will be able to buy another house.
3. Start saving an emergency fund of being able to pay bills for 3 months. Which is about $5000, I think. We'll start there.
4. Get pregnant with #2 (#4)
5. Lose another 10 pounds
6. Finish some of the craft projects that I have lying around (and there are MANY!)
I know, 4 and 5 conflict, but maybe I will lose the 10 lbs before the getting pregnant thing.
So, Happy Resolutions and happy back to blogging! I've missed it. I need to focus on something other than reading the internet for hours at night and watching TV.
Plus, I just wasn't writing that much any way. I felt silly trying to be anonymous, because only people that knew me were reading anyway, right.
I'm taking a page from Josh Hertel and trying to remember to write, at least once a week, something of value.
Ryan is 20 months now. He is the greatest thing evah! I mean, there are moments where I want nothing better than to smoosh his little face, but he is wonderful. He knows many words and just is so funny. So dramatic. A great dancer. The little blonde boy.
I don't know if anyone reads this one anymore, but maybe if I write a new post, someone will come back to read again.
Since we're still in January, I can still make my resolutions/goals for this year! :)
Let's take a look at what I wanted to accomplish for 2010:
1. Seriously, lose 20 pounds (which is the remaining baby weight); then I will stop looking 5 months pregnant and my pants will fit again
2. Pay credit cards down under 5k (tax refunds will help this significantly)
3. Save $500 for realz
I set my bar low-ish last year. How did I do?
1. Considering that by the end of 2009, I was actually close to where I was at 7 months preggo in weight, I came very close to this goal! I lost about 5 lbs in February, and kind of bounced around 225 over the summer and fall. In August, I suddenly decided it was time. I'd had enough! I started Weight Watchers again and really followed it. By the end of the year, I had lost another 10 pounds! So, I hover right around 215 now, give or take. But, I do need to exercise (like with the 30 day shred) because my knees sound god-awful again. But, I lost 15 pounds over 2010. Pretty frickin' good, if you ask me!
2. We borrowed money against my 401k this year and paid off my cards. I can sacrifice the small loss in retirement income for the big loss of debt and interest payments. So, the credit cards, all of them combined, are hovering right around this number too. So, I call this one very close too. With this year's refund, we will be down to the end of it -- and we are both thrilled.
3. We didn't save any money this year, but the focus on paying things off/down was the biggest part of that.
So, for 2011!
1. Finish paying off the credit cards (I think this can be done by the end of summer, for sure)
2. Start paying off the mortgage, so we have real equity in the house. We refinanced this year and lost most of it to closing costs. But, without credit card payments, we can start dumping an extra $400/month onto the house. That way, when we get ready to sell in the next few years, we will be able to buy another house.
3. Start saving an emergency fund of being able to pay bills for 3 months. Which is about $5000, I think. We'll start there.
4. Get pregnant with #2 (#4)
5. Lose another 10 pounds
6. Finish some of the craft projects that I have lying around (and there are MANY!)
I know, 4 and 5 conflict, but maybe I will lose the 10 lbs before the getting pregnant thing.
So, Happy Resolutions and happy back to blogging! I've missed it. I need to focus on something other than reading the internet for hours at night and watching TV.
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