Oooh....you can tell I've been posting in the other blog

Jul 23! Oh well.

Been making big plans in my mind. I really want to start swimming again. I just read a blog of someone who got over their depression several years ago by working out. Now, I will never be that hardcore, but I always, always loved to swim. I used to be pretty good at it too. One of my only regrets from HS was not joining the swim team; I wouldn't have gone to State or anything, but I think that I probably would have swum through college. Soccer had bigger priority, which was too bad, because I gave it up after freshman year. I knew I'd never make varsity -- I just didn't care.

But, there is adult only (big word: ADULT ONLY) open swim at Hale on Mondays in the fall -- I assume that the schedule probably won't be different in the spring, but I will double check. The WAWM Rec Dept also has an Adult Swim Fitness class that is more about getting back in shape (I think - I guess I would end up asking someone at the Rec Dept); So, I'm thinking about doing both after the baby. I know that it would be difficult, but at a certain point, I have to start taking care of myself. I know pretty much what caused the depression before -- combo of stress at home, from trying to switch Ryan into a big bed too early, combined with lack of sleep from same issue and stress from work from being down one team member and never being able to catch up. At this point, I don't think that I will need to go back on the zoloft once Lily comes, but I don't want to get to the point where I have no outlet and start channeling into the whole world being too hard for me to deal with. I've been there a few too many times.

So, I think that trying to swim is going to be the key for me. I may even ask Jake to switch which day he stays home during the day OR have Grandma and Grandpa watch the kids for an hour at night. I think I'd end up swimming for a half hour and be done.

We shall see what happens though. I've said this before here -- that I'm going to try swimming again. But, being in this time and this place -- I think that I actually mean it. And since I ended up down the weirdo path I ended up on before getting pregnant, I think that I'll have some support this time. That really was part of the issue too -- there was no support. I felt like I was doing everything alone. I know that I wasn't, but that's how it felt. Poor Jake. :) So, I know that this time, there are people that I can ask for help. Even if it's my daycare lady. She'd help me out for an hour -- I can pay extra! :)