Reconsideration

So, what was a bad cold for Ryan turned into a second ear infection. His second in three months. He didn't have any for the first 18 months. Which is sort of strange, in its own way. But, it was just a bad cold and when I picked him up from daycare on Wednesday, his left eye was reddish, under the lid. Turns out, this is a sign of an ear infection. As in, the left ear is infected and the infection spread to his eye. Yuck!

So, we are on the good antibiotics now, since he's allergic to the cheap stuff. $30.00 for the 10 day dosage. Without insurance, this would cost $99.99. Woof! One dose and he's already doing WAY better. But, since the eye was included with the infection, he has to be on the drugs for 24 hours before he can go back to daycare. So, I have been home for two days with him, because I can get paid and if Jake doesn't work, he don't get paid.

Being home for the past two days has been fairly easy and made me realize that if I could stay home with him, or if I had to, for whatever reason, I could do it. I don't know if it's the Zoloft finally working it's magic, because I have said many, many times that I could NEVER stay home with him, because I would be so bored. But, with some rest and some deep thoughts, I know that I wouldn't have a problem with it. I could plan trips and projects and take "Mommy and Me" classes and I could, in theory, enroll him in programs that would get him out of the house and into someone else's hands for at least a couple of hours. And I just feel like the house would be better, cleaner and I would be saner. And I could always find something, at some point, that I could do part time. Or, I could go back to school, like I have been wanting to for a while.

So, maybe one of my new goals in the next couple of years is to get to a point where I can stay at home. Of course, by the time that that happens, he will be in school and it won't matter. But, I would like to be in a position to be home for him after school and to take him to school.

I guess it would take careful planning and all that before such a decision. And right now, it's just not feasible. But, maybe....just maybe. I have dreams! :)