I'm having a harder time today for some reason

I'm not sure why. I think it's because I purposefully stayed home yesterday and Jake was home, so we hung out. And I was not alone. Now, I am alone and able to think by myself.

I try not to feed the wolf, but sometimes it is difficult.

I still have the "if only" thoughts and I wish that I didn't. My only hope is that there is a paralell universe somewhere that does not have the hole that ours does now. Even though I am in a completely different place than I was last year, I still feel like screaming every once and awhile.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I am where I am now, because, despite being only an hour away from EC last year, I was also extremely depressed and extremely self-destructive.

And so, I sigh, take a deep breath and try to keep moving forward while not forgetting the past.

I got some good working out advice today, and so I think that I will try it.

I asked my parents for an iPod for my birthday. Black, video kind. I asked for the 30GB, but my dad said "The 80GB is only $100 more." I said, "Whatever you think Dad."...hey, I'm not going to tell him what to buy. If he wants to purchase it for me, so be it. I won't turn it down. More Battlestar Galactica and other TV shows and stuff. Hopefully they actually buy it for me. Then I will totally have a sweet time working out. :)

Okay, well, I feel a little better know. So, I go and take some iBuprofen to make the headache go away. I should probably eat too. The little cat is sitting next to me now.

If you will be at the State Competition on Saturday, I'm going to drag Jake down there, so hopefully I will run into some of you down there. I think.