The Return of The Crib

Aaaaaaand...

We're back in the crib. We put it together correctly now, so the mattress is on the very bottom position. He screamed for the first 15 mins and now he's sleeping. Like he did in the toddler bed too. So, no different there. I am hopeful that I will be sleeping all night tonight.

He needs to learn to put himself back to sleep -- he used to be able to do it. and then he would sleep from 7 to 7, almost every night. Now, we are going to bed late and getting up early to watch "Choo" (A Disney show called Chuggington). Ridiculous. We are trying to cut back on TV time, but I think it's going to be even more. I am done with the TV requests.

So, the next week or so will tell what happens with him. I hope to be sleeping again.



Also, today, I saw a new doctor. I really liked her -- she is just for general family doctor. I will still see by OBGYN too, for now. But, for months now, I have been having trouble dealing with life. I thought it was just stress or just being too busy or the holidays or whatever. But, it came to a point that I was easily irritable, and very, very angry and I could not control it. Well, I could control myself, but I couldn't stop the blood pressure rise and the RAGE. Pure anger. And it occurred to me that I have not just been feeling like this for a few months, but since Ryan was born. Which would make it Post Pardum Depression, PPD.

I felt really bad, because I was trying to be a little rational and tell the doctor how I had been feeling and all that, and instead, I just started to cry. I apologized and told her that I didn't want to unload on her, but here was how I've been feeling. And, I just don't feel like me. I feel wrong and backwards and a million other things. I have no energy to do normal things around the house, much less to do things that I actually enjoy, like sewing, cross stitching, etc. etc. etc.

So, she asked me all the standard depression questions and did do a physical exam. She is doing blood work on me, but said that she really thought it was PPD.

So, as of 1/26/11, I take Zoloft. I go back in one month to check out how I feel. I am hoping there is a difference. Because right now, I have been like this for so long, that I feel like this is normal -- I just don't know how I will be different.

But, I am hoping that I will enjoy my life again. Because right now, I definitely don't. I try, but I just don't have it. I'm hoping that I find it again.