I think that I watched too much sad TV tonight...

I'm just sad tonight. Well, that and having stupid fights with Jake that don't make sense and don't matter, but I don't think that we will ever shake that first year of marriage. It seems like no matter what I do or say, things will never be right. I can't make a mistake or everything gets all fucked up. So, I will continue to ruin good days because I say one thing wrong.

The month is coming and it's not slowing down. I don't really know what to think. I know that I will enjoy it (birthdays and things and such), but I just...I don't know. And I'm not like, that involved. I guess I'm too empathetic.

I think the lack of sunlight is making me more tired and sadder than usual too. AND AND AND! and, the fact that I really do not like working where I am. I cannot tell you what a difference it makes. When you want to be going somewhere and you don't mind getting up in the morning and going, versus having to drag yourself out of bed and sit there all day and try and entertain yourself is just...ugh. I need more entertainment. Plus, I hate having to drive, even if it's only 20 minutes and out in the country mostly.

I'm really out of things to say at this point. I think that I'll post when I'm in a better mood and actually feel like saying good things about my life.